Monday, April 18, 2011
One day Little Adam (4 and half year old) says to his father,
Adam: I want to get married..
Father: Oh Wow..! So do u have someone special in your mind? (with smile on his face)
Adam: Yes!! Grandma!!
Father: What!!?..there is a problem now. you want to marry my mother?
Adam: Why not..you married my mother.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice. HE :
How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.
HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.
HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?
HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?
HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I've already seen it.
HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.
HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I'm a female impersonator.
HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.
HE : Your body is like a temple..
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.
HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Forward to all women who need a good laugh & men who appreciate good humor.
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Once there was a family who was given some venison by a friend. The wife cooked up the ‘deer’ steaks, and served it to the husband and children. The husband thought it would be fun to have the children guess what it was that they were eating.
"Is is beef?" The daughter Katie asked.
"Is it pork?" the son Willie asked.
"Heck, we don't know, Dad!" Willie exclaimed.
"I'll give you a clue," the Dad said, "It's what your mom sometimes calls me."
"Spit it out, Willie!" cried Katie, "We're eating Asshole!!"
This guy's wife asks, "Honey if I died would you remarry?"
He replies, "Well, after a considerable period of grieving, we all need companionship, I guess I would."
She says, "If I died and you remarried, would she live in this house?"
He replies, "We've spent a lot of time and money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house, I guess she would."
So she asks, "If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house, would she sleep in our bed?"
and he says, "That bed is brand new, we just paid two thousand dollars for it, it's going to last a long time, I guess she would."
So she asks, "If I died and you remarried, and she lived in this house, and slept in our bed, would she use my golf clubs?"
and he says, "Oh no, she's left handed."